Staying Busy to Avoid Eating

I could write a little about myself and how I stay busy to avoid eating everything I see 24/7. I don't work due to the pain associated with my Sarcoidosis and Psoriatic Arthritis. It is rare that I even discuss the pain with anyone as it would be a daily whine so it's one of those things I keep to myself. I also don't work as a result of my son's death 3 1/2 years ago. I have found that I no longer possess the patience for stupid people. I waitress'd for 15 years and really loved it. I loved the people and the atmosphere but now I wouldn't be able to let things roll off me like I did then. I'm an angrier person unfortunately.

Sooooooooo to keep myself busy and make a little money, I design jewelry and other things. I love Pinterest as many of you do. My main focus for craft fairs and Etsy are my European style bracelets and key chains. What do you ask are they? Basically they are Pandora type beads but aren't stamped with their name nor made by their company but look like them :) I also take gemstone pendants and wire wrap the bail and add a charm. I'm always on the look out at thrift stores for things I can upcycle. My two latest ventures have been to take old scrabble games and glue down sayings in the racks (after I spray painted them a cool blue color) and I've taken matching teacup and saucers to make beaded bird feeders. They will debut at my show tomorrow which promises to be a big one (fingers crossed). My find yesterday though made me giddy with excitement!!! I love finding games where the pieces can be used for fun ideas. I'm going to make key chains out of these Care Bear pieces from a checkers game. I've never seen it before!

They are too big for bracelet charms but will make nice key chains. One was missing but there are 23 still there and I got it for $1.00 !!! It's the little things that excite me. I doubt I'll get any of these done for tomorrow's show as I have a full day and still need to make a couple of specific things for tomorrow but that doesn't stop my giddiness. 

Nothing food related today. Today is just about me.

Eat... Emotions.... Eat

I've eaten everything today. Two bagels, dinner which was cheese stuffed bacon wrapped chicken and cheesy broccoli rice and then M & M's. The worst thing is... I don't care. Once I'm emotional that's it, I eat.

My mom is getting my sister and I a Fitbit for Christmas so that we can work together as a team. I've looked at them for awhile but they are sort of pricey. They do collect a lot of data and put it together for you and put it up against your friends on your list online. I'm pretty excited about it.

I know I'll bounce back tomorrow. It's all a learning process for me, learning better habits. I know I can do it. I just have to keep at it.

Battling With Myself

Wow! I never knew I could have such an argument with myself. Yesterday I had a craft fair and prepared by taking grapes and a salad for lunch. During the day I do so well, but night time is when the demons come. A voice in my head just nags at me to eat something even when I'm not hungry. I had to keep saying, "NO!" to myself. It is hard to battle with yourself to not eat. What makes you feel like you HAVE to eat?? I suppose it's conditioning over the years of doing just that.

I haven't had the chance to get a grocery list going and get meals planned out so I'm working with what I have. Still proud of myself for doing this well! Tonight we had beef ravioli and my heartburn is insane. I'm in agony and do not feel well for having eaten it. Maybe that's a good thing in the end.

Do Over ... Times 3

Once again, I find myself in a position to need to take a step back and think about my health. It's not good and it hasn't been for a long time. I'm pretty good at making up excuses as to why I don't need to worry about this or that aspect, but in reality, it's a necessity.

Today, I'm 288 pounds. The doctor's scales say so. My blood pressure was 159/107 and my A1C was 10.7, I'm fat shaming myself. I don't really see a need to hide it, you can look at me and see I'm fat. I know it, you know it, it's ok to say it.

Tonight I shall spend time looking at recipes on Pinterest because face it, who's not a Pinterest whore these days. I'm not sure that I'll specifically look for Weight Watchers or Gluten Free or Sugar Free really. I'll look for healthy choices leaning more towards Diabetic cooking.

Here I go again, starting fresh :)